HeadTrash

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April 16, 2021
Leadership
Renie Cavallari - reni@poweredbyaspire.com

If you are feeling like many people these days, you are ready to move out of feelings of "trying just to get by" and hit the road to recovery, forward momentum, and abundance. COVID has changed so much in our lives, and as we choose to move into our next chapter, we have to understand that there is also a silent epidemic that we are all fighting, HeadTrash™.

   There is no more critical time than now to unpack the HeadTrash you may have collected over the last year. Actually, for most of us, we already had plenty of HeadTrash long before COVID. Research from RCI Institute (rciinstitute.com) indicates that most people start collecting HeadTrash early on in their life in the form of imprints and these imprints, both positive and negative, quietly run our lives.
 
What is HeadTrash?
   HeadTrash is the internal chatter of the little voices in your head. It doesn't take much to get them whispering or even yelling. HeadTrash is created by the nasty little people who live inside your brain. The chorus of critics who minimize you and convince you that you are not good enough. They are the "perfection people" who lurk in the shadows, waiting for you to fall out of your comfort zone and question you, your abilities, and even your relationships.

   They take extreme pleasure in getting loud enough to turn up your fears, sometimes even paralyzing you from taking action. This little troop of naysayers scream hostile, self-limiting, self-destructive and judgmental words that slow you down, cause you self-doubt, and can limit your potential.
 
ULTIMATELY HEADTRASH STEALS YOUR PERSONAL POWER AND INNER STRENGTH.

   If you missed my interview with Rich Siegel, Hospitality Upgrade's publisher, you can still catch it and listen to our fun, interactive conversation about HeadTrash and its impact on us as humans, leaders, parents and friends. You name the role, and it's likely that you might have some HeadTrash lurking around, stealing your energy and undermining your happiness! (watch @www.hospitalityupgrade.com/gallery)
 
The following are two of the questions we didn’t have time to answer in our open chat discussion.
Q1: What can I do to feel more empowered and motivated?
1.            HeadTrash is an energy sucker, so you want to check in on what your self-talk is saying to you. Be aware of your thoughts as they will reflect on your action or, in this case, inaction. Our thoughts lead our feelings, and motivation is simply a feeling. When you decrease your negative thoughts or, better yet, eliminate them, you will gain clarity around what you really want, allowing you to take productive action. Productive action makes us feel good, and this turns on your motivational switch.
 


 
2.            I would also suggest you check-in and reflect on your daily habits. Which habits are serving you, and which habits are limiting you?
  • If you find yourself endlessly watching Netflix, you might want to change that up and do something that stimulates your brain. Maybe there is a hobby you want to get into or something new you want to learn. There are so many resources for learning new things, so step one is to pick what you are longing to learn. Then, take action.
  • Maybe you have replaced exercise with sugar. It might be time to find your energy through a better source. Some people find energy through a great hike outdoors, while others need more instruction like joining Peloton. In HEADTRASH, my new book, there are 29 ways to proactively get your emotional brain in a positive state. Pick three that rock your world, and you will feel a shift in your energy.
 
You want to look at your habits in two ways: “What will I stop doing?” and “What will I start doing?”
  • Stop doing things that drain you.
  • Stop watching the news if it's too much.
  • Stop hanging out with people who suck your energy and deplete your spirit.
  • Stop blaming others.
  • Stop doing work you hate.
  • Start hanging out (even virtually) with people who are positive and energizing.
  • Start each day with a positive and clear intention of what your focus will be.
  • Start doing exercise you like. Hate exercise? There is likely an app on your phone that will track your steps. Set a daily goal and get walking!
  • Start journaling to focus on what you are grateful for and what negative thoughts you need to get out of your brain.
  • Start reading and learning more.
  • Start doing things that motivate you, make you happy, and awaken your soul.





WHAT WE PUT INTO OUR MIND, BODY, AND SOUL REFLECTS HOW YOU FEEL AND THAT IMPACTS THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE. SUCESS IN LIFE IS DEFINED BY HOW MUCH JOY YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, NOT BY THE TINGS YOU HAVE, THE CAR YOU DRIVE, YOUR JOB TITLE, OR THE POWER WHEEL.








MY GOLDEN RULE? IF SOMETHING GIVES YOU JOY, DO MORE OF IT.
IF IT ISN'T CREATING JOY, THINK ABOUT HOW YOU CAN REPURPOSE THAT HABIT.

Q2: What are some tips for finding your personal power and feelings of positivity even when you are surrounded by negative people or influences?
As my father used to say, “who you hang with is who you become.” You may live with someone or work for someone who is struggling to find positivity, and that is hard. Yet you can do things, so you don't join them on that “life sucks” path to nowhere.

1.  Your Head is Running your Life. Mindset Matters Most:
+       Remember you can’t control how someone else feels as their feelings are a reflection of their thoughts. You can only control your thoughts.
+       Another person’s emotional state is not a reflection of you. It has nothing to do with you.
+       Find compassion for their situation even though you may need to dig deep sometimes! 
+       Share why you value them. Feeling valued and loved helps people feel a tad better.
+       Don’t buy in. You can acknowledge that they feel bad, and that doesn’t mean you have to agree or go negative with them. That only escalates the negativity.
 
2.  The People Factor:
      Whether it is via Zoom or in a safe physical distancing environment, reach out to people who are aligned with your feelings of positivity. Surround yourself with inspirers.
+       It’s okay to keep your distance. Find ways to get away from the person who is negative where you can. Get out of their “puking” zone!
+       Sometimes you do have to “fire” people from your life. It’s tough and requires courage, and sometimes it is the only way.
 
3.  Lead the Conversation with Care:
+       Lead the conversation. Ask questions that set up a positive discussion. If you just listen to the endless stream of negativity, you will be exhausted. Ask questions like: “So how can I help you?” or “What do you think you want to do next so you can move towards what you want?”
+       Be aware: Don’t enable people around you. You are not another person’s “problem-solver” and if you drive their solutions, they get to blame you if things don’t work out.
 
4.  Leverage Resources:
+       Learning is empowering, so select a topic you are interested in and read, listen, or watch.
+       There are podcasts that are about positivity, so take a listen.
+       Put on music that soothes you.
+       Relax. Do yoga, meditate, or focus on what you can control, like your gratitude and productive actions. 
+       Talk to your coach or mentor. If you don’t have one or both, get them now!
 
5.  Establish Boundaries for Yourself and with Others:
+       Gain agreements on how you will live or work together, so you are both productive.
+       If you work in a negative environment and see no end in sight, is it time to proactively find another job?
      Keep things light. Avoid TV shows that might set them off. Watch your topics of conversation, so you don’t trigger the negative flow.

We all have HeadTrash and what is most important is to learn how to manage and dump it. Your HeadTrash has a clear correlation between the quality of your life and your happiness factor.
Life is a journey, and there will be twists, turns, bumps and potholes. It is how you think about the challenges along the way that determines how you experience your journey and awaken your true potential.

For more information: poweredbyaspire.com

©2021 Hospitality Upgrade
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